I’m mortal.
I cannot die yet. I haven’t found the song/music to play during the wake, the funeral march (to the crematorium), and the moment where they throw my ashes to the sea. I cannot die yet because I have no golden anniversary marriage story to leave behind for people to praise. Nor do I have children, much less a legacy. I can’t die yet because I cannot even find a half-decent date I can get along with. I cannot die yet because I have a lot to reconcile. I cannot die yet because I have a heavy heart. I can’t die yet because I am still not me. I cannot die yet because I dunno how to live. I cannot die yet because I haven’t saved the world. I cannot die yet because I haven’t saved you. I cannot die yet because I haven’t saved me. I cannot die yet. I cannot save me. And when I do save me, I will not die. I just cannot die yet. Even if it kills me.
